i'm Ok now

Alhamdulillah berkat Ramadhan...dah feeling better sekarang..last post agak sedih sbb ada beberapa unexpected news..so post kali ni agak panjang..dah bole nak tulis dah..

Actually 29/6(D12) hari tu buat Hsg utk kali ke 2 di Hospital Tawakkal dgn Dr Fatimah..this time adik je teman..en husb outstation ke Kedah..so far so good..everything going smoothly walaupun hari tu pakai baju yg disediakan tu terbalik..haha nasib nurse comel kat situ tegur suh betulkan...huhuh

the procedures semua ok..tak sakit..and even tak sedar pun bila dah siap..ingat Dr tengah check2 je..mmg doa byk2 je masa baring tu moga semua ok..dah habis procedures tu tnya Dr how, so far dia kata 2-2 tube ok dan dia suh laydown another 30 minit & snap post picture then lepas tu baru bole salin baju dan tunggu amik report...masa tu hati dah berbunga dah bersyukur..at least tube ok kan..so masa amik x-ray result tu tak laa baca report yg dia bagi..terus je bayar & balik..cost RM180 yer..

on 2/7(D15), dgn bersemangatnya bawa report HSG jumpa Dr Adila..then Dr tengok laa x-ray dan report tu..Dr pun explain the result..rupanyaaa ada unexpected news :((..Dr said that the flow of cecair/dye yg dimasukkan for both tube is ok except on right ovary still have some unreleased liquid..(mcm bertakung)..maybe ada yg melekat kat situ & halang cacair tu release properly..walaupun Dr kata its ok tapi air mata ni dah start bergenang...mana tak sedih sbb sebab masa buat Hsg kali pertama in 2009...alhamdulillah that time both tube was ok..

Dr pun agak terkejut dgn result yg baru ni sebenarnya..so dia pun selak fail baca segala history² operation masa 2010 dulu....nak dijadikan cerita rupanya Dr dulu ada buat biopsy kat ovary kanan..biopsy tu mcm amik sedikit daging ovary kanan utk buat test..tapi dalam fail tu tak mention utk test apa & apa result biopsy tu...Allahuakbar...masa dengar tu dah gugur jantung..sbb kami tak diberitahu pun tentang biopsy tu...yang kami tahu Dr buat laporascopy thru minor operation je..then Dr Adila mention lagi..maybe yg melekat kat ovary kanan dan yg menghalang cacair tu release properly  tu is a piece of daging ovary yg diambil masa biopsy tu..Allahhh..tak tercakap apa dah masa tu..Allah jer tahu apa perasaan masa tu...en husb speechless..Dr pun speacless..

 to break the silent..Dr suh baring utk check perkembangan saiz ovum lagi..masa baring tunggu Dr, air mata dah burst dah..Dr tengok je..huhu malu je kat Dr kan..dah tak bole nak tahan sedih..bila Dr scan plak..tengok saiz telur tak growth..sama mcm dulu 10-12mm jer..bertambah laa sedih...

then we sit & discuss for the next plan...Dr suh datang utk next cycle..pastu bole plak ckp dgn Dr.."Dr sy tak tahu bile next cycle sy Dr..period sy kan tak ok.." Dr pun senyum je..so next cycle dia prescribe duphaston to get period & dia suh makan clomid on D2..

inshaAllah after raya nanti kami jumpa Dr Adila lagi & continue our treatment with lower dose clomid..she is trying to avoid from any hyperstimulation on my body as Dr said i'm a high risk person to get OHSS after knowing that I have the highest AMH level among other's patients..so she need to be extra careful when dealing with my body... Ohhh btw my AMH level is 132pmol..where the max is 100pmol..so consider I'm break the record laa kan..that's why Dr is so worried about me..as she said that she never seen any others patient with high level of AMH like mine..if Dr worried ...i'm much more worried Dr..:((..

Alhamdulillah..Alhamdulillah...Ramadhan is here..to cure my sadness..i feel calm now..

I know, Allah knows what is the best for me..He love me..He gave me so many things..I should be more grateful..

and now He gave me Ramadhan as a big GIFT for me and to make me happy...
I keep remind myself to enjoy with His gift & utilize my precious time during this Ramadhan..

May Allah accept our fasting..our ibadah & all ours prayers..

Thank you Allah...Thank you Allah...

tears drop

TTC dan air mata...
Bagai tak dapat dipisahkan...
Gagal untuk tidak menagis lagi...
Setelah kian lama bertahan...
Ia gugur..mengalir dari dalam hati ke pipi..

Allah sedang menguji...
Peringatan utk diri..
Mujur ada suami penyejuk hati..
Bersyukurlah duhai diri..

Ingat, 
Allah rindu mendengarkan..
Rintihanmu berpanjangan..
Bersyukurlahh dan tabahlah menghadapi...

Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH)

tadi jumpa Dr lagi on D11(28/6)..utk scan size ovum and amik result blood test D3 hari tu..baru tadi tahu blood test tu tujuan dia utk Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH)..haaa ape plak nii...??
 
 AMH Test...ni term yg baru pernah dengar & belajar hari ni..Dr suruh balik dan baca pasal AMH ni...so far apa yg saya faham bila dah baca sikit² pasal AMH ni adalah untuk check berapa banyak remaining quantity of eggs yang kita ada and berapa tahun lagi tahap kesuburan kita...so we should know our AMH level utk tahu tahap ovum yang dihasilkan oleh badan kita....from AMH level will help us to evaluate woman's current fertility status and may predict the onset of menopause.
 

so indication dia mcm ni...
 
if between 0.1 to 4.9pmol : Low Ovarian Reserve--Low AMH means low egg numbers or decrease in the number of eggs..the production decreases and then stops as follicles grow..and indicate a potentially poor response to medicine..it also may be useful in predicting menopause (dalam kata lain our ovum berkurangan..so kita ada potensi yang tinggi utk menopause) and so Doctor akan suggests the need for extra stimulation medication as  (increase dose ubat ker dll)..
 
if between 5 to 19.9pmol : Normal Ovarian Reserve--mean that the production of eggs is stable ikut umur kita..orang normal should get within this level..

if more than 20pmol : High Ovarian Reserve--mean excess follicles/eggs..normally PCOS people they will high level of AMH..it also indicate an exaggerated response to the medication and sensitivity to stimulation medication and higher risk of OHSS...if monitor closely..high potency to get pregnant..inshaaAllah..

so agak² berapa level AMH saya???

p/s:-byk lagi kena baca pasal AMH ni...korang bole baca kat sini utk lagi faham..

my remark:
3rd appointment on CD11(28/6)

Cost incurred:

TVS  & Consultation Dr =RM184

TOTAL =RM184

 

Jumpa Dr

Assalam semua...

lepas makan norkulat awal bulan hari tu..cik P pun mai la..D

D1 fall on 18/6..

1st appointment jumpa Dr on D3(20/6)..Dr tegur sbb biarkan period tak datang sampai 6 bulan lebih tu..sepatutnya if tak datang one or two month dah kena jumpa Dr or amik norculat..sbb nanti risiko kena cancer kot..ermm..Allah minta di jauhkan..

So mcm biasa, Dr scan check ovum yg byk tu..then Dr prescribe Gonal F lagi..kali ni guna pen baru warna merah..much more easier sbb tak yah tarik mcm pen biru dulu..so putar dan tekan je (mcm makan oreo plak kan..)..so here we goooo..

D3(20/6)--100 iu
D4(21/6)--100 iu
D5(22/6)--100 iu
on that day, kena amik darah gak..Dr kata nak hantar Singapore/Australia utk detail prescription on my body..tapi lupa nak tanya utk apa sebenarnya??..it takes 3 week to know the result..harap ok laa..

2nd appointment on D8 (26/6) jumpa Dr lagi utk scan..Dr cakap dinding Rahim cantik (8mm) , ovum size on left paling besar saiz 12mm and kanan paling besar only 10mm..so Dr suruh continue habiskan dos yg ada dalam baki pen tu which is 75 iu..then we going to scan again on D11 (28/6) ni..so doakan the size growth dgn cantik yer ;)..ada rezeki bole proceed dgn IUI or else we continue the with new dose..

this round we go slow and steady as Dr want to monitor closely..reasons?? patient having experienced on OHSS..huhu..

rabbiyassir walaa tua'ssir Ya Allah...

my remark:

1st appointment on CD3(20/6)

Cost incurred:

Blood test & investigation = RM 130

TVS  & Consultation Dr =RM284

Gonal F=RM672

TOTAL =RM1,086

2nd appointment on CD8(25/6)

Cost incurred:

TVS  & Consultation Dr =RM184

TOTAL =RM184

update

Assalamualaikum semua..

lamanyaa tak update blog ni kan..bukan tak menjengah blog ni tapi tak tau nak tulis apa..

apa khabar my effort to conceive eh? so far nothing much..just mkn supplement GLA & OmegaGuard from Shaklee & habatussauda' & madu je..planning nak jumpa Dr pun tak jadi..incik husb suh cuba naturally gak..dia takut kot..wallahualam..takpe laa kita cuba je..

tapi yg membimbangkan...dah almost 6 month tak period..lama kan? kalau tambah 2/3 bulan dah boleh bersalin agaknya..tapi tu laa :(

ermm..tadi teman my officemate (roommate) check-up for her 2nd pregnancy..dia mmg tahu my problem..dia laa yg advise  suh pi jumpa Dr balik..jgn tunggu lama²..end up jumpa her Dr too..

as expected, Dr give me norculat for me to get period asap..after cerita segala history..Dr bagi tahu actually metformin is not suitable for thin PCOS like me..dalam hati nak kata apa kan..dah pernah makan pun..but it ok laa..the past is past..malas nak fikir cerita² lama yg bole ganggu mood nak TTC..huhu..

apa pun Tq Dr for your supportive advise..u make my day Dr ..\

apa pun yang penting teruskan usahakan ;)

my remark:

6/6/13 (Jumpa Dr Vishnu)

Cost incurred:

Consultation & Norculat =RM120

TOTAL =RM120.

givers gain

nak sambung lagi happy dari entry yg lepas..lama dah entri ni dok dalam draft ni..

happy sgt untuk Jay ..dia pun dah berjaya pregnant juga..naturally without med..just jaga makan semua..kenapa teruja sy sgt ehh..sbb sy pun mcm dia..non-obese PCOS..insyaAllah nak cuba apa yg J dah cuba..in term of eat healthy food & apply whatever tips yang dia share at her blog..kena tekat gak ni..

those who read her blog will notice so many tips & knowledge that she shared with us at her blog..how diligent and struggle the effort that she put in searching for the information to make sure she have better understanding on her body..and to know the effect from all the supplement & medicine that she consume..dan mcm2 lagi laa info yg dia share..sgt rajin ok..

so, my conclusion is..sharing is caring dan inilah erti pada memberi..u get what u give..
as givers, she gain and deserve to this miracle news ;)

happy for them..

Alhamdulillah..happy to hear a good news from nia and reen..masa diorg to get their own baby dah tiba..so sgt teruja dengar berita diaorg..waiting for our turns pulak..sooo happy for them..

finally Allah answer their prayers..they deserve to get this miracle new afters many many EFFORT they made..mcm  reen punya tagline in her blog.. "A Battle Against Infertility" ..usaha & terus usaha sampai berjaya..all the efforts is now worth it...Allah pun menilai seseorang berdasarkan USAHA dia..nia berjaya to get pregnant secara natural after many years of treatment & supplements...& reen via  frozen embryo transfer (FET) after failures in 4th cycle of IVF..reen sgt kuat & tabah !! and both of them also having pcos like me..so sy makin bersemangatlah nak teruskan ttc ni..i believed that pcos people aslo can have our own baby..chaiyok!!

i should learn from them not to give up..my effort sooooo little..and i should put more effort & struggle much more to fight against infertility..dengan izin Allah..that good news also will be mine ;)..insyaAllah